The Truth will Set You Free
Holy cow. I have been doing it all wrong!!!
My whole life has been built around avoiding pain. I have become a MASTER at "conversational
marketing: the art of asking questions" in part because it allowed me to hide my own identity and my own true self.
If I am learning about you I can keep you distracted from the fact that you haven't learned a thing about me. I used the best shiny object to you in the world: you!
Of course, I come from a place of authenticy and integrity. Because that's who I am. I'm not faking it. Or phoning it in. I am truly and completely interested in YOU ... who you are, where you came from, why you do what you do, what you want to do next.
I actually learned this skill from my friend Jean T. We went antiquing one weekend in Cold Spring a decade ago and I was enthralled with how INTERESTED she seemed in everyone she met. And the things she learned that I never would have guessed. She was so lit up by learning what lit them up. I said to myself: Hey that's a great skill! I should learn to do that. And I did. I learned to do it so well, I now teach others how to do it. Thank you Jean T. I never gave you credit for teaching that to me. Still bridging the gap after all these years.
If you know me you might wonder how I can say I don't like to share because you know my favorite place to be is on stage with a mic in my hand. Well that, if you must know ... and since you asked =)... is slight of hand. A bit of magic. If I have the mic, I can weave wonderful experiences for you but on my terms. You will never delve too deeply into my essence because I create the rules of what I will talk about. I hold the mic.
Well now I am still a great listener, and the front of the room is still a place I love to be. But I'm working on being a good sharer as well. This process has been unfolding over the last year. I have been seeing a therapist. I have been receiving Reiki treatments. And I have been practicing voicing my truth, my feelings, my opinions, my discomfort. It's hard.
But actually, it turns out, the pain is in the fear of being vulnerable. Of being unprotected. Of being judged by others as I judge myself... because I know the truth about me.
I recently had the gift of disappearing discomfort enter my life. What love and generosity these leaders provided me. I felt safe to put my discomfort and my secrets in their hands. Through willingness to play, openness to receive and a LOT of courage I transformed some of the very core beliefs I have been carrying around with me since I was a kid.
One was around my weight. Why do I choose to be overweight and to have so much struggle with staying fit? Another was around how others treat me and show up for me - usually much less than I show up for them. Another was how I feel when I am in a situation that makes me feel like I am not mentally equipped to handle the required actions.
It turns out they all derive from the same place. And it's a place I have been carrying with me since I was between 5 and 7 years old.
In my efforts to be real....to share myself...to open up to the vulnerability that will lead to my transformation, I recently shared one of these experiences on my All That Ease podcast that I record weekly with my Reiki Master friend, Heather.
It was the 4th time I had ever shared this memory - the first with my husband. The second with my mother.
And now I will share it with you. When we recorded the podcast I actually asked friends NOT to listen. I put an emotional gag-order on this episode so it shouldn't surprise you that it has had the least airplay of any of the episodes we have recorded.
This is a step on my journey. An opportunity to share a piece of my true self, warts and all.
You can get to the episode here. It's a good one. "The Truth Shall Set You Free"- I'm learning that by NOT sharing, I am actually creating more pain than if I just let it go and live in love. xoxo
My whole life has been built around avoiding pain. I have become a MASTER at "conversational
If I am learning about you I can keep you distracted from the fact that you haven't learned a thing about me. I used the best shiny object to you in the world: you!
Of course, I come from a place of authenticy and integrity. Because that's who I am. I'm not faking it. Or phoning it in. I am truly and completely interested in YOU ... who you are, where you came from, why you do what you do, what you want to do next.
I actually learned this skill from my friend Jean T. We went antiquing one weekend in Cold Spring a decade ago and I was enthralled with how INTERESTED she seemed in everyone she met. And the things she learned that I never would have guessed. She was so lit up by learning what lit them up. I said to myself: Hey that's a great skill! I should learn to do that. And I did. I learned to do it so well, I now teach others how to do it. Thank you Jean T. I never gave you credit for teaching that to me. Still bridging the gap after all these years.
If you know me you might wonder how I can say I don't like to share because you know my favorite place to be is on stage with a mic in my hand. Well that, if you must know ... and since you asked =)... is slight of hand. A bit of magic. If I have the mic, I can weave wonderful experiences for you but on my terms. You will never delve too deeply into my essence because I create the rules of what I will talk about. I hold the mic.
Well now I am still a great listener, and the front of the room is still a place I love to be. But I'm working on being a good sharer as well. This process has been unfolding over the last year. I have been seeing a therapist. I have been receiving Reiki treatments. And I have been practicing voicing my truth, my feelings, my opinions, my discomfort. It's hard.
But actually, it turns out, the pain is in the fear of being vulnerable. Of being unprotected. Of being judged by others as I judge myself... because I know the truth about me.
One was around my weight. Why do I choose to be overweight and to have so much struggle with staying fit? Another was around how others treat me and show up for me - usually much less than I show up for them. Another was how I feel when I am in a situation that makes me feel like I am not mentally equipped to handle the required actions.
It turns out they all derive from the same place. And it's a place I have been carrying with me since I was between 5 and 7 years old.
In my efforts to be real....to share myself...to open up to the vulnerability that will lead to my transformation, I recently shared one of these experiences on my All That Ease podcast that I record weekly with my Reiki Master friend, Heather.
It was the 4th time I had ever shared this memory - the first with my husband. The second with my mother.
And now I will share it with you. When we recorded the podcast I actually asked friends NOT to listen. I put an emotional gag-order on this episode so it shouldn't surprise you that it has had the least airplay of any of the episodes we have recorded.
This is a step on my journey. An opportunity to share a piece of my true self, warts and all.You can get to the episode here. It's a good one. "The Truth Shall Set You Free"- I'm learning that by NOT sharing, I am actually creating more pain than if I just let it go and live in love. xoxo
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